Looking for Happiness, Where Ever it May Be

So I feel amazingly blue today. News of my uncle's impending demise is hitting me in a strange way. He and I have never been close. But the tragedy of knowing one only has 4 weeks to live, if lucky, is a hard one with which not to not empathize. My mom is devastated. I seem to be a sponge that soaks up the energy around me and right now, that is not a good thing. How does one acknowledge such news, to someone with whom they are not close? I have never once called him, so to do so now seems odd. I suppose a card, but saying what???? Sorry you are going to die? That is AWFUL! I am sure I can come up with something, but Jesus, this sucks.

I am trying one last option to see if I can avoid bankruptcy. I am going to try to get a consolidation loan. If that doesn't work - bankruptcy it is. I simply can not continue paying the criminal 32% interest I am being charged. I was never late or over-limit. The companies just started raising rates when the government passed that new legislation. No one will work with me. SO , I am starting to say fuck them, then. I was and am a good customer. I do not deserve this treatment. And I am tired of struggling so hard to stay afloat when these greedy corporations are the ones that have caused all of this trouble in the first place.

So, how to rid myself of the blues today? I just do not know. I suppose listening to Norah Jones is not particularly helpful....maybe I need some Michael Jackson to pull me out of this mess...or the Broadway soundtrack to Avenue Q...